Review: Noah

Noah
Cert: 12A / 138 mins / Dir. Darren Aronofsky




While I'll freely admit that I found Darren Aronofsky's interpretation of Noah far more engaging than the trailer had suggested, I'd still be hard-pushed to tell you that I enjoyed watching it. Veering between batshit-crazy and infuriatingly monotonous, as an exercise in film-making, I think it's unfocused compared to Aronofsky's other work. As an exercise in storytelling, it's all over the shop, with the inconsistencies of the original tale and a whole host of new ones. Although to be fair, most of those pale into insignificance when Ray Winstone's army is being battered into the dirt by 20ft high Rock-Megatrons. The first half of the film has some gorgeous touches (the constellations visible in the daytime sky, the strangely modern wardrobe choices), but by the time the rains come the creativity takes a back seat to the brooding storyline. It's surprisingly well acted given how preposterous it all is (with the exception of Jennifer Connelly's "emotional scene").

Besides, when you've got Percy Jackson and Hermione Granger on your team, surviving a heavy shower should be a doddle, shouldn't it?

Like a drunken mashup between Lord of the Rings, Kevin Smith's Dogma and Hitchkiker's Guide To The Galaxy*¹, Noah has to be seen to be believed. A striking effort indeed, but an effort at what, I'm not sure.

In many ways, not at all. Those aspects of the trailer are in the film, but that's not an accurate summation, no.



I don't think so, but it held my attention.



I have no idea.



It does look nice on a massive screen, but this is an Orange Wednesdays kind of film.



No. If anything, talk to me about it, I don't care if we disagree.



I doubt it, but never say never.



I didn't hear one. Plenty of opportunity, too.

If God's been flooding the UK recently because he doesn't like The Gays, how come he told Noah everything was going to be just fantastic now by sending him a massive rainbow, eh?

*¹ Because I really wanted one of those angels to say "God? Don't talk to me about God..."

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