CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.
I write this on the 1327 Cross Country service from Newcastle to Oxford, but I'll be publishing it from home. There doesn't appear to be any WiFi on this train, free or otherwise. Normally, I'd retract my earlier vitriolic ramblings towards East Coast Rail, but you know what? NO WiFi is better than shit Wifi. Because with no WiFi, I don't sit swearing for 15 minutes, willing it do do what it's supposed to. C'est la vie.
And so our week-away is over and we leisurely cruise our way back to Oxford. As much as I love Newcastle, it'll be good to get home again. I highly recommend The Staybridge, by the way. I've not got a massive history with hotels or hospitality, but I found it very relaxed there.
As you're aware, I've taken lots of photos this week, including an unfeasibly high number of a certain bridge (and there'll be more yet to come, by the time I've cropped and tweaked them). But it's not the architecture that makes the town for me, it's the people.
These people, anyway:
Massive hugs go, as always, to my bro's, Porle and Ken. Carol and Nicky I know from old, and Lee, Michael and Emma I met for the first time (in person) this week. And because last night they witnessed Porle and myself's ear-bending rendition of Butterfly On A Wheel, and because they didn't throw objects to get us to stop, I love them all dearly. If I recall correctly, fact fans, last night was the first time in about 10 years that Necropolis have performed in front of an audience of any description. The Force willing, it won't be another 10 years before we do it again.
1) There's a chap sitting opposite us (aged around 40-50) who's had to buy another ticket. He bought one online and printed it off but it's expired. The inspector-chap said to him "That's a day return and it's got yesterday's date on it". So what I think he's done is go from York to Newcastle yesterday, stay overnight, then try to blag the return journey today. Because logically, he'd have had to come up this morning and get away with using an out-of-date ticket. If he'd had it checked and approved on the way up today, he'd have mentioned this in his flimsy denial of any wrongdoing. Technicalities aside, he protested just the right amount for everyone in this end of the carriage to know fine-well that he'd been busted fair and square, and he fucking knew it. I concealed a smile, anyway.
2) There's a woman with her husband and child in the adjacent seating group. The child's about 6(ish), and is chatty in the way that kids are, but he's not loud and not annoying. Unlike his mother. Every time she tells him to be quiet, she does so in a voice that's much, much louder than his. So that people who haven't even noticed the young one's presence, are suddenly bombarded with this (not swearing, but certainly angry and overbearing) mother. The dad, meanwhile, hasn't uttered a sound. I suspect he's inwardly groaning and wondering how his life has lead him to this point.
"Not everyone wants to hear your voice!" she informed her offspring. Meanwhile, the irony of her statement had grown so dense, it started to develop its own gravitational pull.
3) Who the hell gives an eight-year-old an iPad? I mean, she's not exactly 'throwing it around', but it'll end in tears, you mark my words. It's not a fucking Etch-a-Sketch.
4) Two girls got on the train at Derby. A newspaper and an empty Stella bottle had been left on the seats where they wanted to sit. One of the girls picked these up, walked down the carriage in our direction and found another empty seat to put them on. In doing this, she walked further than she would have if she'd just gone back to the door she came in through and put them in the fucking bin, the idiot. No, I didn't say anything. Why should I intervene? If evolution takes its course, it'll be that same stupidity that gets her killed and removes her from the gene pool.
Everyone else on the train is fine. The fact that I can have a beer when I witness these things, is the only reason I tolerate train travel. Well, that and the fact that I don't drive; but then I couldn't have a beer there. Apparently.
And all that remains is for me to thank the people who've made this week so great, and you dear reader, for wading through this every day (if this is the first of my posts you've read, why not go back to The Age of Steam, and earn yourself that thank you?).
Normal blog posts will now resume: Film reviews, Star Wars ramblings, and general complaining about people annoying me.
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.