Sunday 20 February 2011

99: Review - Paul

CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.




Paul
20 Feb 2011. Location: Cinema

Three tits. Awesome!

7/7. This is film of the year material.



DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.

• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

Tuesday 15 February 2011

98: Review - True Grit

CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety.  Reader discretion is advised.
 

 
True Grit 14 February 2011. Location: Cinema

Okay, first things first:
1) I find westerns very dull. *1
2) I find the Coen Brothers movies overrated and very dull. *2
3) When a film receives praise, I'm willing to give it a go. *3

And so, it was with an open mind and a smile on my face, that I took Mrs Blackout to see The Coen Brothers adaptation of True Grit on Monday. I'll be honest, I didn't like it.

The trailer looked promising, and the first act of the film where Mattie Ross (Hailee Steinfeld) hires US Marshal Rooster Cogburn (Jeff Bridges) to bring her father's killer to justice, hooked me in completely. Then they set off to find him and I was left wondering what the hell happened. Considering they're meant to be "tracking" the killer, Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin), all they really do is ride around until they stumble upon him. There's no evidence of Cogburn (or indeed Matt Damon's ally/rival, LaBoeuf) actually doing any skilled tracking, they just ask people they come across if they've seen some bad men. I could do that.

Add to this the problems I had with the dialogue; 1) Hailee Steinfeld speaking too quickly in a prim monotone, 2) Jeff Bridges mumbling his lines through his beard in a slurry monotone, 3) Matt Damon mumbling his lines in a Texas-drawl; and I couldn't make out every other line the characters were speaking. Not that the dialogue was particularly groundbreaking, but what I made out was fine, just badly delivered.

Ultimately, I know my problem with the film lies in me, not the Coen Brothers. It's well made, beautifully shot, excellently cast (with the exception of the mumbling), nicely scored… I just didn't like it. *shrugs*
 
The Good: Hailee Steinfeld is superb as Mattie Ross. If this is what she's capable of now, she's got a fantastic career ahead of her. Bridges, Damon and Brolin also put in great character-turns.
 
The Bad: I like some dark humour in a film, but there's not quite enough in this to justify having any. The moments there are (the hanging-scene, and the funeral parlour owner in particular) work brilliantly in context, but the further we get into the film, the lack of humour makes the previous moments stand out as a promise that wasn't lived up to. I also found the ending strangely 'meh'. There's not really and send-off for the protagonists, but maybe that's how the book ends? I dunno.*4
 
The Ugly: Mumbling aside, the characters group up, alliances are forged, the river is crossed and the quest begins! …and then bugger all seems to happen for the next hour. Even though it is happening, I couldn't quite gauge the importance of it. It just seems messy until they find the killer. Oh, SPOLIER: they find the killer.
 
4/7

I'll give it a four, but that's for the craft, not the entertainment.
Look, you'll probably enjoy it. I see it as a sign that I should stick to movies rather than films.

*1 Although I think I do like the Spaghetti Western. I'm still working on that theory.
*2 Yes. Coen Bros. Dull. What of it? No, I haven't seen them all, but I don't need to try every kind of fish to know I don't like eating fish, do I? What I've seen by them (with the possible exception of No Country For Old Men) has bored the arse off me. And even NCfOM had its stretches of tedium.
*3 Look, the less said about Capote the better, okay?
*4 And let's be honest, I'm not likely to find out. If the film bored me, what chance to I stand with the book? I've never read a western novel, and I don't intend to start with this one.

 
DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.
 
• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organisations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.

 

Friday 11 February 2011

97: Review - The Mechanic

CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.




The Mechanic
10 Feb 2011. Location: Cinema

Jason Statham stars as Jason Statham in what can really be classed as the Greatest Hits of Jason Statham! Jason plays a hitman-with-a-heart who's the best at his job! He jumps off bridges! He fights on rooftops! He chokes a fat cult-leader to death when he realises injecting him with adrenaline isn't going to work! After work he listens to gentle piano music (on vinyl, naturally), fixes up classic cars, and has a touching on-off relationship with a woman who doesn't even know his name! He's THAT magnetic, see?

Jason's life/career/knob are all going swimmingly when he's presented with a job that stops him in his tracks - he has to kill a colleague OF HIS that's sold out the company! The plot thickens when Jason finds out that the company ITSELF might be, blah blah fucking blah...

Look, can't you guess what this movie's about? It's pretty obvious just from the fact that Jason Statham's in it. That being said, there are at least 10 other actors who could have done this job and suited it just as well.

Anyway, apparently a company that takes on jobs of indiscriminate killing for the highest bidder, MIGHT NOT BE VERY NICE PEOPLE! Even though it's alright that you're an indiscriminate killing mercenary that works for them, because you listen to piano music, see?

The plot, as it stands, is generic. So generic, in fact, that the cast may as well have masks with big numbers on, or t-shirts with their character archetypes printed on the front. I'll admit that I was expecting a certain character to return at the end of the film and he didn't, but other than that, it's business as usual.

The script limps along as best it can. Surprisingly adequate for the most part, but excruciatingly like GCSE course-work whenever there's any exposition to be done. I should also state that it's delivered very well. The fact that the film's supporting characters have been cast so nicely is either a credit to them for pulling off the material, or a sign that they're all typecast. Your choice.

Effects - great, they do the job they're meant to. The score and soundtrack - again, nicely done, especially some of the songs used 'in-movie'. The handheld camera isn't overdone either, so I give it points there.

All in all, you can wait for the DVD/Sky for this if you like. It looks great on a cinema screen, but you won't lose too much by watching it at home. You've seen it before anyway. In all honesty, it really is like almost every other film about a hitman ever made. Add in the action-hero element and even Mystic Meg could accurately predict what'll happen.

...oh, did I mention that I loved it and thought it was fucking awesome?

6/7

It's got Statham in it, for fuck's sake - what's not to like?
I don't expect it to be original, I expect it to be entertaining. Was not disappointed.


DISCLAIMERS:
• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.

• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.