Sunday, 29 November 2009

65: which I fail to understand the world

CAUTION: Yen's blog contains harsh language and even harsher notions of propriety. Reader discretion is advised.

I know, I know. No blogs in November at all. To be honest, the only things that have annoyed me have been of a largely unamusing nature. That being said, I shall use this post to collate the stupid things that my horrible Samsung phone has borne witness to during the last month...

Let the bewilderment begin...

No stopping at any time. I'm cool with that. Mind, I'm no traffic expert, but if you're waiting, haven't you stopped? Or are you supposed to keep moving in a very tight circle, or something?

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Some upmarket gossip-mag or other. From my limited experience of print-media, I was kind of under the impression that the cover-line should represent the most important part of an article. It's what you use to draw in readers that wouldn't otherwise be buying your publication. It doesn't really matter if you take a line out of context, or even bend the truth - the cover-line should be the high-point of the article; the most pertinent facts.

So, it would seem that the high-point of this gripping exposé of Colleen Rooney's newly acquired motherhood is... that the baby's got big hands and sleeps a lot. Needless to say, I bought two copies, just to make sure that I was reading it right. I'm not sure how I faced life before I had this treasured knowledge.

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So, it seems that the maximum amount of possible protection against perspiration, is exactly twice the amount afforded by their previous products. Imagine that, being off by a straight 50%. Seems to me that they could have just:
• told people to use twice as much of their old product
• concentrated their old product to half its volume
• come clean on why they've been watering their old product down to half-strength.

This also means that they can never improve on their product without looking like bullshitters.

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Now I like cartoons. I don't claim have an encyclopedic knowledge-base, I just enjoy them for what they are. Although I don't recall ever having seen a cartoon featuring a Generic Yellow Duck.
Maybe this has just slipped under my radar? After all, I only found out where Jamaica actually is this year. I'm 36.

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Saw this in the window of an inner-city amusement arcade (you know, the grim-looking ones). Set me wondering what this mysterious "text club" is? The advertisment doesn't go any further, it just tries to lure the curious into their den of vice and iniquity. Well, I wasn't having any of that. This secret society would have to wait until I could look it up on the internets. All I could find was the first two tenets of their mantra...

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That's about it for now. I'm sure once December kicks in, the usual level of outrage will return... ¬¬

• ^^^ That's dry, British humour, and most likely sarcasm or facetiousness.

• This is a personal blog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own thoughts (at the time of writing) and not those of the people, institutions or organizations that I may or may not be related with unless stated explicitly.